Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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