i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
