Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
