I'm really into asian looking animals
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
