I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I got her a Nickelback box set.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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