I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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