dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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