I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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