so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
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Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
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How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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