I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
