is wine microwaveable?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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