ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I want to make a zoo with you.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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