Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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