I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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