i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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