she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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