And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
