Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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