You just made me feel so damn special
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just found a bag of teeth...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
