he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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