piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
