I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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