in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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