Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You took a bar mat shot.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
