I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
