just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
people are starting to question the shark bite story
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
