butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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