Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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