whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
