yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
