she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
