In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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