we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We need to get me chipped asap
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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