I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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