Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
