is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
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Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
His nipple licking is glorious
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