yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
