After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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