is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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