Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
