I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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