His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
