You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
