He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
