i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
