Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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