Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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