i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
