so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She said her name was "party"
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
