my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
