ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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