youre lurking in front of me
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize