TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
