Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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