I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
